Archive for July, 2009

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TMI Sunday that I’m Sharing on Tuesday

July 28, 2009

Jordan: When did you decide this, at what point did you conclude that you wanted to break up with me?

Me: Jordan, I don’t know that I’d call this a break up.  I mean we’ve been out a few times and have had some fun together but I didn’t think that either of us was that invested.

Jordan: Call it what you want, call it whatever makes it easier for you.  But I still want an answer.  Was it before or after we fucked last night?

Me: It was when we watched that stupid Kevin Costner movie.  I knew that I’d never kiss you like that.

Jordan: Just get the fuck out.

Me: Jordan, we’re at my place.

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Smiling on the inside

July 17, 2009

Saw the ex yesterday for the first time in forever.

She came over to pick up a couple of her things that had lingered at my place since we split. You know how that happens.

Anyway, we had nice little talk, the kind of talk you have with your ex: How you doing? How’s work? How’s your mom and dad? This, that and the other.

There was one thing I left unsaid, however. One thing I just couldn’t say to her face.

Her now considerably more round face. The face whose cheekbones are now obscured by the weight she’s put on since she cheated on me and moved in with another guy.

Is it wrong I was smiling inside knowing that in the time since we split up she’s gone from relatively in shape and having a great ass, to having a puffy face and a sizable belly straining the waistband of her skirt?

No, didn’t think so. Seriously, I’m not kidding, I’m smiling even now as I write this.

– S.R.

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The Question I Can’t Ask

July 8, 2009

“Do you know why I was on the couch when you woke up” Jordan asked via text message hours after I had left their place.

“I was wondering about that.  You were kinda icy when I walked out.”

“You confused me with someone else.  You said someone else’s name in bed with me.”

There is no recovery from such a mistake.

Besides not remembering, the worst part isn’t that it happened.  The worst part is that I am more curious about whose name I used than having any desire to fix it.

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i hate your blog.

July 7, 2009

your blog makes me cringe.

you’re certainly not a great writer. you aren’t even a particularly good one. 

i’d rather hear about the shit you took this morning and the line at your starbucks than read about the oh so very important issues and topics you think you are addressing.

your perspective is so blurred, it isn’t truthful. you should be in serious counseling rather than venting to strangers. the best thing your blog could bring you is the realization that you need help.

i’ve kept it hidden if from my friends. i hope you end it. change your mind. give up. i hope you finally realize how you are embarrassing yourself.

i keep reading. every day i visit. because i have to know how you humiliated yourself today. i have to know how you mortified me today.