Archive for the ‘Blogging’ Category

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The Nose Knows… But Would He?

December 22, 2009

I need help, interwebs.

Many, many years ago, I dated a guy.

He was a good guy, the kind of guy I still occasionally check in with and say “Hey, how are things? How’s your niece doing? What’s new?” and the like. The romance itself is long dead and buried, but I certainly wish him well.

The thing is, he used to wear this cologne. This absolutely MAGICAL, ridiculously-expensive-but-totally-worth-it cologne. It’s like nothing I’ve ever smelled… basically, it’s as if those ridiculous “Axe” commercials came to life.

Yeah. This stuff is THAT good.

SO, it’s been years since I’ve smelled it, obviously, because I am not crazy and didn’t steal any of his to spray on a pillow or whatnot when we split. (This is not a joke. I really didn’t. Though I kind of wish I had.)

And then, this morning, I was grabbing my cup o’ joe at Starbucks when…

*whiff*

Absolutely, 100%, in no way mistakeable… THAT SCENT. That delicious, uber-sensual, I want to eat your face right now! SCENT.

And despite the fact that the man responsible more than slightly resembled Nick Nolte’s mugshot

I totally wanted to climb him.

So my question to you, internet, is this.

How wrong would it be if I perhaps bought a bottle of said miracle cologne for the man that I am now in love with?

I adore the smell, not the ex, after all…

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Control

April 28, 2009

I like being angry.

I like the feeling of my blood pumping through my veins. My mind pulsing with everything that’s going on. But after a while it just gets to be too much.

I break out in hives.

My hands start to shake.

And then every little thing that happens infuriates me more than it ever should.

No soda in the fridge? end of the fucking world.

Can’t find my sunglasses? then I can’t go to work at all.

People always talk about their goals or their bucket lists

My entire list: Get control. Be able to express myself so that I continue to enjoy my emotions–the highs and the lows.

It will happen someday.

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This Makes Me Feel Insecure

April 24, 2009

I am not a prude.

I love sex – steamy, handcuffed, fuck me all night sex – I love it all and want it early and often.  And with a healthy dose of kink.

But keep everything away from my ass and I don’t want anything of mine going in someone else’s ass. 

Last night my partner guided my finger into their poop chute.  I did it, they liked it but I just wanted to go wash my hands – twice.

All of this anal aversion somehow makes me feel less enlightened like I am somehow not as sexually free as my friends.

 

 

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The Victim Mentality

April 20, 2009

There is certainly an enormous need for compassion in our fucked up little world, and though it isn’t my strongest quality, I do my best to hold that hand that needs holding, to be the shoulder when someone needs to lean, or to just sit quietly when someone just needs to not be alone. I do these things because I think that they are important.

There is however, another side to this coin and that is the victim mentality. Few things drive me around the bend as quickly as this. You know what I’m talking about- we all have them in our life. The one who whines and complains but doesn’t change anything. Not because they are unable, as is sometimes the case, they don’t change anything because they are too goddamn lazy and somehow figure that someone other than them should have to put in the required work.

Let me give you an example;

I once worked with an extremely obese woman. She would whine & complain about her weight and how hard it was for her. She would do this little dance while eating a couple or four pieces of fried chicken followed by a big gulp of pop and a pastry or two and I am not normally one to hold back. One day while moaning obnoxiously about her struggle she had the nerve to say to me “You’re lucky- you have a fast metabolism so you can eat anything you want. It’s totally unfair.”

My response?

Well, I kinda lost it to be honest, and it went something like this……

“It’s not unfair and I’m not lucky. I put in the work required to be able to eat whatever I want. I exercise everyday and also walk to work by choice. I take the stairs, I don’t gorge myself on crap and I eat human sized portions. How dare you say that “I’m lucky”. Doing so discounts all of the effort I put in. When was the last time you exercised? When was the last time you could see your own fucking feet? While you were sitting here whining about how hard it is I watched you eat EIGHT HOT DOGS!!!”

Yeah. Politically correct is clearly not my forte.

My point? Shut the hell up if you aren’t trying to change your situation, if you aren’t willing to do the work. No matter what your problem is, you lose the right to complain if you just sit there and play the victim.

TAKE SOME FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE!

Whew. Ok. That rant is over. Not exactly the well written introduction to this new blog that I had anticipated but I really had to get that off of my chest.

Alright. As you were.

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A Blog Is Born

April 16, 2009

Whilst drinking with a few bloggers last evening the notion emerged that we wish there were a place us to write the thoughts that are, for whatever reason, verboten on our own blogs.  Notions that are too personal but need an outlet, ideas that are too controversial but seek a forum, subjects too risqué for the friends/parents/acquaintances/lovers who read our regular blogs but demand a platform, all of these command a voice – an anonymous voice.

Therefore we have created K Street Confidential… and you are invited to become a contributor, an anonymous contributor.  If you choose to join our merry band, then reply to this email stating such intention.  I will reply with a generic blog administrator name and password which you will use to create your own user name and password. 

You may be wondering about the selection criteria, how your name was among the dozen or so scribbled on a cocktail napkin.  It was simple: do we like your writing, do we think you probably have something else you’d like to write, and would we want to have a drink with your alter ego.

I hope that you will join us in this project.